My brothers and sisters my story is long oh… but let me try and cut it short. I am sharing this story because many men have the problem I had in my marriage.
The problem I had in my marriage is that I married a woman who was more ambitious and hardworking than me.It was hard for me because I was raised to see a man as the one who must be more successful than a woman. I was raised to believe that the man must be making more money than the woman.
So my ego could not handle it at first.We live abroad and my wife is a very intelligent go getter type of woman. She is more intelligent and more hardworking than me and it was hard for me to accept this.
I brought the woman abroad, she studied nursing, before you know it she has upgraded to a Nurse practitioner and was making way more money than me. She was more financially successful than me.
In the beginning of our marriage it was very hard for me to cope with her highly driven nature. I wanted her to show down and wait for me.
As a man it is not easy to see your wife work harder than you and no matter how you try, the woman no dey tire she will be doing 5 things at the same time and is brilliant at all of them. Whatever she touches turns to gold.It became a major problem for me to keep up with her.
I started competing with my wife, and that introduced major rivalry between us. It was the worst mistake I ever made. In trying to compete with her, I was putting obstacles in her way of success so that I can catch up with her, this introduced a lot of discord in our marriage.
First of all I refused to help out in the house chores, we don’t have any Househelp, and we had 4 children. I will refuse to cook even though I knew how to cook so that my wife will spend time cooking and be slowed down in her progress.
I wanted her to be tired so she won’t have the energy to be working so hard in her career. I wanted her to defer exams and stay home with the kids for a while so I can earn more than her.
So I just frustrated her with house work and looking after the kids. I told her it was a woman’s job to do that. I tried to stay away from the house as much as possible so I won’t even be there to help, she did as much as she could but before long, we were quarrelling a lot.
I will even eat and leave the plate for her to wash. If she talks I will tell her I brought her abroad and she should never forget that.
We will argue so much. She will cry and beg me to support her and stay home if I am not working so I can help out with the kids but I will refuse.Then she will get angry and we will exchange words, I will always accuse her of disrespecting me because she is succeeding.
I told her her success has entered her head. There is nothing I didn’t do to slow this woman down. To the point of denying her sex and cheating ong her to get back at her for her success.
Yet this woman made friends easily and those friends helped her with minding the kids, and then she was able to apply for a visa for her mum to come.
I was hoping the visa will be refused but it was granted so her mum came. With her mum coming, staying for a few months, going for a few weeks and coming again, she had more time and she progressed fast and got to the top of her career.
She was so intelligent that passing exams was so easy. Meanwhile for me, I struggled to pass my own exams. Her own is one touch she passed.
I think I can say that I was jealous of my wife, I was jealous of her success. I wanted that success for myself and I was very foolish in doing that.
As she became more successful, I became a bigger enemy of that success. The conflict in our marriage got worse. Just to frustrate her I will complain about everything, I moved out of our room, just the sight of her made me feel less of a man.
I had serious inferiority complex, it was bad. Knowing that she is a family oriented woman who wanted us to stay together and raise our kids, I will keep threatening divorce to scare her and it used to scare her a lot.
She kept crying and begging me, each time I act my drama, she begs and begs and I will keep reminding her that I was the one who brought her abroad and that she is nothing without me.
She will always express her gratitude to me and she really tried to be a good wife but nothing she did was enough for me. Her mother did her best to try and reconcile us but I wasn’t listening. All I wanted was for her to stop earning more money than me but I couldn’t say it so I don’t sound wicked.
Assuming You Were The Judge, How Would You Solve This matter?